Ni Jiang Se Me? ... Ooops! Me no understand
I remembered R asking, "You sure you can do this?" and I said, "Yeah sure". I regret that saying yes.

Today, I sat 2 hours at a meeting not understanding 3/4 the things being discussed. My Mandarin & Hokkien sucks. 1/2 the time these Taiwanese are all speaking Mandarin + Hokkien at the meeting and I just sat and stare blankly. Once awhile, one kind idiot after many sentences, will say, "Oh, lets speak English so she can understand better". Next thing I hear is another long conversation in Mandarin. I can't imagine how I'm going to survive the next few days.

Food's not as good as I thought. I'm so tired after that lousy morning flight. Gonna unpack my stuff now. I hope this room is not ...... I don't want to hear the radio suddenly switching on itself in the middle of the night....

You can have it!

I hate my job it SUCKS! *blink*

I Just DON'T
If there're reasons to why we're alive, what is mine? I see no purpose to live yet I have no courage to die. I'm such a sucker. What does this life means? I wake up everyday to the same routines. I want to be happy like everyone or at least I pretend I am happy but I'm not. I have a job I don't like, I just do it to pay bills. I'm not smart. I don't drink nor smoke, and I try hard not to swear. I don't party ... I'm so boring. Like everyone else, I wish to love and be loved but I don't have this someone. I have nothing ... nothing at all.

What good am I? I really don't know... I feel so suicidal today, if only I'm not such a coward to take my own life, heh.

Smile! You're on Candid Camera
On Friday after work, 3 of us went to MidValley to watch So Close. While waiting for our show, we hopped into McDonalds for ice-cream and we were sitting on the stools. Then we saw this girl, professionally dressed, she was taking off her jacket and a bunch of coins fell all over the floor. She probably didn't want to look embarrassing chasing after coins. So, she walked away without even looking.

This muslim guy standing in front where the girl dropped her coins was contemplating to pick the coins or not to. Finally, after some time he decided to walk away. A few people passed, kicked the coins, looked at them and too embarrass to pick them up .. they walk away.

Then came this group of indians. The sister stepped on the coin and then she pointed the coins on the floor to her brother. My guess was she asked him to pick them. But his brother was reluctant. The sister pinched him and ... here comes the funny part. You would have think it looks familiar too after reading. He was holding a sweatshirt, he threw his sweatshirt on the floor to cover the coins and then picked up everything and the whole bunch of them quickly walked away. ROFL! Gees, we couldn't stop laughing.

This thought came to my mind, what's wrong with picking up coins? If those were a couple of 50 bucks, I bet you nobody would even think twice to pick them up! Here's another tip .. never ask your kid brother to pretend they suck at it!!

Personality Disorder Test
Take this test.

This is my test results.
Disorder : Ratings
Paranoid : Moderate
Schizoid : Low
Schizotypal : Moderate
Antisocial : Low
Borderline : Very High
Histrionic : High
Narcissistic : Moderate
Avoidant : Low
Dependent : Very High
Obsessive-Compulsive : Moderate

In the end...it doesn't really matter
I wonder if all these efforts are actually worth it. I slog through endless projects at work but what do I get in the end? NOTHING! Yesterday R told me that he attended a training for a product that we're going to use soon. And I was upset. Because all trainings they get to attend but who gets to do all the dirty work? ME!

I'm sick of working like this. I NEVER get to attend any formal trainings and when I can't produce what they need they decide I'm not competent enough. This is so fcuking unfair! Last night, a headhunter agency called me asking if I would like to look for a new job, boy am I glad to give away my CV to them.

Today, I decided I don't want to bother at all! I'm not going to work harder than anyone else. I'm just going to sit around and MUD all day and pray OSAMA will bomb their office in Singapore!!

Blaarrrggghhh
I have nothing to blog. I'm going home tomorrow night. Cheapskate company books night flight for cheaper rates. Anyway, I'm glad I can go home!!

Here do this test. Got it from Eraine's.

© What's your Inner Goddess Color?? © Jen

Ageless?
I used to sleep in when weekend comes. Like 9-11 hours sleep! But these days, I get 6 hours sleep and I feel wide awake. Damn, I must be getting old.